The truth behind the smileImagine how much easier your life would be if you could read people's minds?Such superhuman powers would increase your sales tenfold if you were able to delve inside the head of your prospect and turn each situation into a money in the bank deal.The good news is that it is possible. I can hear you ask how is it possible the answer with some training.The ability to read "nonverbal communication" is an essential skill when trying to strike business deals in today's property, or motor vehicle industry in fact I will go further and say within any industry that requires you to sell, now that takes in close to all industries out there currently competing for the dollarThe problem that most of us have is that we usually interpret a smile or lack of eye contact incorrectly that is emotionally, instead of scientifically. The first lesson is to decipher the type of smile being given as it could be one of happiness, of contempt or fear, yes some people actually smile when they are afraid.Up to 85 percent of communication is non-verbal. In other words, we watch for clues to the meaning and intent behind what is being said, we get our clues from gesture, facial expression, posture hand movements and smiles.Now doubt you have listened to something being said and suddenly get the feeling that the person speaking does not really mean what they are trying to tell you. In short the speaker cannot be trusted, they don't really mean it? This is our warning bells ringing that is why, we instinctively recognize that the person is lying, the more we observe the persons eye, nose and mouth movement, along with hand gestures, these are the four major nonverbal cues typically associated with lying.A word of caution you may not always be correct in your assessment as you may have preconceived prejudices or been brought up to believe that all sales people are inherent liars with the sole goal of ripping you off. Relax, often times when you relax and get to know the person a little better you opinion changes and your trust grows, little wonder that con men and women do so well as they are well versed in the art and psychology of body language. An accurate knowledge of body language and how you can use it is an essential factor in this process. It can be all too easy to jump to the wrong conclusion about a situation if you aren't careful!So what are the Myths that we are told to believe as being right.1. A liar can't look you in the eye2. More eye contact the better3. Men show dominance by touching in a variety of ways4. People smile when they are happy5. You can't trust fast talking people.Here are a few truths behind those body language myths.1. A liar can't look you straight in the eye.There is a persistent belief that people with shifty eyes are probably lying, this isn't necessarily true. It could mean that the person is nervous, but you might need to look elsewhere for an emotional interpretation before jumping the gun. Pathological liars can make eye contact and be sincere while they are lying through their teeth.2. More Eye contact the better.This long-held belief is the opposite to the idea that shifty-eyed people are liars. Most of us are comfortable with eye contact lasting a few seconds, but any eye contact that persists longer than that can make us nervous. We assume that there is something else going on.Often when this happens to you the thought that goes through your mind is why is he staring at me or what have I done wrong in some instances you may thing that the reason for the long eye contact is an attempt at flirting. Making amorous advances towards a prospect isn't't a good career move!3. Men show dominance by touching in a variety of ways. It is a widely accepted belief that powerful people in society, often men - show dominance over others by touching them in a variety of ways, recent examples of this are heads of state one in particular was President Bill Clinton who loved touching as a show of affection, respect and dominance the fact is, women initiate touch more often than men do. In Sales, I wouldn't extend to physical contact with anything more than a handshake and perhaps a brief touch on the arm.4. People smile when they're happy. People smile for all sorts of reasons, but only one of which is to signal happiness. Smiles can range from a "felt" or true smile to the fear smile, the contempt smile, the Mona Lisa smile, the miserable smile, and a number of others. Whatever their origin or motivation, smiles have a powerful effect on us humans. Be friendly and approachable, but if you smile all of the time then people may begin to question your integrity - and wonder whether you are actually going to treat them and their needs seriously.5. You can't trust a fast-talking people. The belief that speed and deception go together is a widespread and enduring one. People talk at an average rate of 125 to 225 words per minute; at the upper end of that range listeners typically find themselves beginning to resist the speaker. However, the opposite is greater cause for suspicion. Speech that is slow, because it is laced with pauses, is a more reliable indicator of deception than the opposite.Now we have busted the myths, let's examine a few gestures to look out for when reading people's behavior.Body Language of Liars:? Physical expression is limited, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movements are toward their own body as the liar takes up less space.? Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching of /or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.Interactions and Reactions? A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.? A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.? A liar might unconsciously place objects between themselves and you.Most of the research into nonverbal communications shows that people are not very good at hiding their feelings. Emotions regularly run free. Most of us are not good at decoding those emotions as we would like to think we are!Stand out from the rest of the sales people and become a body language expert. It will give you the competitive edge in a demanding marketplace.
Original :: 5 body language myths busted
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