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It is generally agreed that there are three main components�to spoken communication: body language, voice tone, and word choice.� The first two account for most of the meaning; the actual words we use�end�up being�just a small piece of the puzzle.� All three, though, are used by our listeners to understand what we are trying to say.� Because of this, one of the main causes of miscommunication is when�the message sent by our words,�tone, and�body language don't align.This�effect is compounded by the fact that�our body language and tone�are mostly unconscious acts.� We don't take the time to think deliberately about the way we hold our body�in the same way we might pause to tink of the exact right words to say.��At the same time, the person we're talking to is picking up those signals unconsciously as well.��People who are trained to spot liars, for example, use the unconscious cues in tone and body language to see if someone is telling the truth.� There are many layers of communication going on at the same time - and each layer may be saying something different.These different layers�can easily be�seen�in verbal sarcasm and the miscommunication it creates.� Sarcasm, when you�examine it, is simply the deliberate mixing of signals.��A person's�words, for example,�might not�have the same meaning as�their tone of voice.� "Yeah, it was a great time" said with a sneering tone would probably indicate that the person didn't really enjoy themselves.� They are purposefully using contradictory signals to create a different message than their words would indicate.� Another example that most people are familiar with is�someone saying they are "fine" with an�obvious tone that indicates sadness or distress.This puts a burden on the listener to translate the real meaning - should they go with the word choice or the tone?� This�usually isn't a problem with close friends and associates, but the less�the two people know each other, the greater the chance that there will be a misunderstanding.� The listener has to decipher what the speaker is saying, and the more effort they have to use, the more likely they are to make a mistake.Sarcasm is�an example�of�deliberately mixing�communication signals.� There are also many scenarios when this�happens unknowingly.� An example is when body language and word choice don't match.� This commonly happens when a�person shakes their head yes or no when answering a question verbally in the opposite.� Often the direction the head nods is more indicative of their real answer.� When someone answers a question with a big "yes", but shakes their head no, the listener often picks up on that; and they have to decide which response to act upon.The best way to solve these inconsistencies is simply to be aware of them.� Both when speaking and listening, paying attention to areas where there might be mixed messages allows for someone to address them immediately.� If the signals aren't consistent, they can ask for�clarification.�These are just a few examples of how the three parts of verbal communication - body language, tone of voice, and word choice - can say different things at the same time.� By paying attention to all three of these it is possible to make sure that a speaker isn't sending out mixed signals, and it's also possible for a listener to tell when they are picking up mixed signals.

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